Christmas Greetings!

Here is a posting of the Christmas letter we sent out this year--

In the era of instant and constant communication via email and text and twitter, Christmas letters seem like an odd throwback to an earlier era, but please bear with me!  Part of the reason I write them is to preserve in one tangible place a record of God’s faithfulness to our family year after year.   It is a chance for me to sit down and remember the ways He has preserved us in the midst of trial and blessed us in times of plenty.   I don’t want to simply send out a “who did what in the Birmingham family” letter.  My hope is that in reading our story, you will be encouraged to contemplate the one He wants to write in you.  The letter is really about Him!

To be honest, this has been a year of stretching for all of us.  Our plans have been changed so often that we now hold all of our expectations for the future very loosely.  It is not a bad way to live, once you get used to the reality that you are not in control—and the realization that you never have been!  But it comes with many moments of watching the dreams you had worked out for your family be replaced by something different, which is not easy for people who have always been big fans of maps, plans, and orderly agendasJ  So Jamey and I are learning what it is like to be free spirits, being carried along instead of leading the charge.

The biggest surprise for us is that our foster children, Kaiden and Keira, are still with us with no real timetable for reunification with their Mom—and no real prospect for them to remain with us.   They are only five and three years old, and they have been waiting for over 2 ½ years to find out from their Mom if they are worth working for.   What this means for our family is that we are in what seems like perpetual limbo.  We can’t plan for our future or theirs.  We are watching their hearts and the hearts of our children become bonded here with the knowledge that we may have to drop them off one day soon and never see them again.  Keira doesn’t know that we are not her “real” family because we have raised her for well over half her life.  What will the upcoming separation do to her ability to bond?  How will she overcome the feelings of rejection over being “given away” by us? 

On the other hand, Kaiden has heard so many promises and seen so many deadlines pass that he is gradually shutting his heart to everyone.  He is full of anger at the adults who have seemingly kept him from life with his Mom.  And he uses behavior to exert control on the world that has betrayed him over and over again.  And as we try to stop the emotional bleed, we are left waiting.  Waiting beyond the deadlines laid out by Michigan and Federal law.  Waiting beyond what specialists say is the threshold for preventing permanent damage to a child’s ability to bond and form healthy relationships.  Waiting for the courts, or lawyers, or social workers, or parents to act on behalf of these little ones. 

Trust me when I say that I have given only the barest outline of the challenges we have faced in our interactions with the foster care system this year.  If you want to know the details of this saga, they are laid out on our blog www.jdbirmingham.blogspot.com .  It is not for the faint of heart!  I think we all wish that the system was laid out for the protection of both parental rights and child welfare, but the balance has tipped to “reunification at all costs” and that puts innocent ones at risk and those who are caring for them into interminable uncertainty.  We are praying about what God might want us to do with all this information in the future, but right now we are just trying to write our chapter with these precious children in a way that nurtures them and honors Him.  Please pray with us!

Jamey continues to search for a partner at his practice.  He is now booking patients over a year in advance—a frustration for both him and the ones he is trying to serve.  There is a shortage of specialists in his field, and with the coming health care overhaul and the influx of new regulations, the wait times will only increase.  He often has to arrange his schedule to see emergent cases on his days off or after hours, but it is just this level of commitment to his patients which makes them see him as a friend and advocate and not just a physician.  Somehow he still manages to be fully “present” when he is home with us, making time for games and recitals, sports activities and family devotions.  However, we all look forward to the day when a partner at work enables him to be here more often.

I am continuing to homeschool most of the children.  Kaiden is attending our local kindergarten, where he has been blessed with a very loving and patient teacher.  She is exactly the kind of grown-up he needs in his life—affectionate, but firm and extremely consistent, and he is doing well there.   He is a budding athlete and loves nothing more than to be in the thick of a baseball, basketball, or football game with the older boys.  Despite being the smallest boy, he is always first to dive into the pile of arms and legs and dirt in our front yard.  His tenacity and toughness will serve him well someday, I’m sure!

Rebekah is a high school senior and finishing up a few required classes here, while at the same time taking some courses at our local Community College.  She is hoping to get a degree in Music Therapy, an exciting field which works with emotionally or mentally disabled children and adults, hospice patients, and nursing home residents, to increase health and healing using the power of music.  She is a gifted harpist and has also been trying her hand and piano, flute, and guitar.  She has such a peaceful spirit, and it has been a delight to watch her blossom into the caring, capable young lady she is. 

Christina is in 9^th grade and is participating in the Challenge program at our local Classical Conversations group.  She is taking Algebra, logic, literature, Latin, Mock Trial, current events, and science courses.  She meets with her class one day and week, and completes the bulk of her work at home.  It is almost a college-type format, and she has taken great strides in personal responsibility.  Although I am still her teacher, she is increasingly taking ownership of her education, which is our goal for all of our children.  Our hope is that they will always seek out and sit under great teaching, and I have really enjoyed watching her interests expand in the areas of theology and politics, and philosophy. And of course, I especially relish the opportunity to read and discuss great literature with her!  In addition to schoolwork, Christina plays the viola for congregational singing at church, and has recently had the opportunity to play at two weddings and a funeral.   We are so grateful for our daughters, and seeing the way God has written their stories so far has given us hope for the future of Kaiden and Keira.

And our boys—well…what a great invention boys are!  They are a constant source of laughter and entertainment and humility for parents.   They are the risk takers, mess makers, and stuff breakers.  But I love their brave ideas and loyalty and enthusiasm, and the way they still come and nestle in for a hug after a busy day of conquering the world. 

Elijah is 10 and has discovered sports this year.  He played Little League and now is involved with a homeschool basketball league.  He is smaller than all of his teammates, but makes up for it in tenacity and gumption.  He has really begun to show maturity in his studies this year, and is a cheerful and dependable worker.  One of the beauties of having a large family is that people simply HAVE to serve one another or the whole thing falls apart.  Elijah is my go-to runner between here and Grammi’s house.  He often helps Jamey and Papa with yard work, but he can also do any household chore that pops up, and he has even begun helping next door with Grammi sometimes.  My favorite thing about Elijah is that he really wants to learn what a man of God is and does, and he is showing a softer heart to instruction.  It is good to have him as the leader our young men!

Isaiah is our tender hearted people person.  At age (almost) eight, he already has a radar for how others are feeling and the ability to put people at ease.  He gives great compliments and loves a good joke.  His appreciation for food has made him adept in the kitchen, and every morning he tries to cook the world’s most perfect over-easy eggs.  He has experimented with heat levels, ratios of butter to salt, flipping techniques, and various pans.  After he cooks his eggs, he will bring them to me on a plate and gravely point out their merits and flaws.  Then he trundles back to the table and eats them with great gusto.  I absolutely love to watch him eat!  His brows furrow and he gets the most intense look of concentration—as if he is analyzing and appreciating each bite.  Isaiah is the source of many of the grand plans in our house, both brilliant and ill-conceived, and as such, he also bears much of the blame for the ones that go awry.  But he remains undaunted.  I appreciate his “grab life by the horns” approach to—everything!

Jude is 5, and reminds me so much of my Dad.  He looks and acts like a small version of Papa—except for the fact that he got glasses this year.  What a surprise to learn at his annual check-up that he could not even see the top row of the eye chart!  Seeing has made him braver in his interactions with the world, and he is taking part in more of his brothers’ adventures than he used to.  He is enjoying his official entrance to our “school” this year, and is doing a fantastic job with all the Classical Conversations memory work.  I love the diversity of Jude’s interests.  Most mornings when I go in to wake him up, I find that he has surreptitiously smuggled books into his bed…or rocks, or rubber bands, small plastic animals, crayons and paper, random coins or keys—once I even found a globe wedged between his pillow and the wall.  He is a meditative and quite content to inhabit the world of his imagination when the real people in his life are busy.  He likes to count and sing history sentences while he is showering, and it is not uncommon to see him jump up from his trains or cars to check a random geography location on our wall map.  He has a very soft heart toward Kaiden and Keira, and also toward his MamaJ

Keira continues to makes developmental strides.  She is very maternal and often has a baby doll on her shoulder or sitting with her on the couch.  She loves to hear stories and is a brave participant in many of the boys’ rough-and-tumble games.  She is very attached to all of us, having lived here from the age of 15 months to her current age of 3 ½.  We are praying and trusting that God, who knows her and made her as she is, will help her navigate the emotions which will come from the transition back to her mother’s house.

In closing, I wanted to share an observation I made last fall during one of my outdoor runs.  The leaves had all fallen and the whole world was at that dull, gray stage that comes before the snow.  The air was cold and the sky was heavy and dark, but every so often along the trail, peeking out from under a pile of dead leaves was a flash of vivid green.  It was so bright and so beautiful that I actually stopped for a closer look, and what I saw was a small, low growing plant with smooth, waxy, shamrock-shaped leaves.  There was nothing remarkable about the plant.  In fact, it was so small and so ordinary that I am sure I ran by it a hundred times over the summer without noticing its existence.  What made it exceptional was the color of its life against the deadness of the world where it was growing, and the strength it possessed to thrive there. 

Two thoughts came to my mind at that moment.  First, a season of darkness brings out elements of ordinary beauty which would otherwise be completely overlooked.  Those bright spots are gifts indeed, held more closely and appreciated more deeply than abundant pleasures in a season of plenty.  Through disappointment and waiting and weariness, I have been more aware of the small blessings.  And they are many!  I am grateful to be surrounded by the family that I have.  Jamey has a secure job and a meaningful calling.  We have freedom to worship and to lead our family as we see fit.  I am gathering green leaves from under the brown with thankfulness!

Second, it made me think about our role as people in a world of pain and sadness.  This Christmas season has been marred by news of a tragedy among children at a small school in Connecticut.  The rest of the planet is groaning under the weight of its pain and sickness, sadness and sin.  So what can we do?  How ought we to respond? 

We don’t need to lie buried under layers of despair.  Through the power of God, we can be shoots of green, bringers of hope—living reminders of His love, of the beauty of redemption, and of the promise of new life in Christ.  What a gift!

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God—Romans 3:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord—Romans 6:23

For God so loved the world that he gave His only Son, that whoever believed in Him should not perish but have everlasting LIFE—John 3:16

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness, a light has dawned…For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace—Isaiah 9:2, 6

Praying your heart is warmed by the knowledge of the deep love of God toward you! 

Love and blessings from all of us—

Jamey, Sandra, Rebekah, Christina, Elijah, Isaiah, Jude, Kaiden, and Keira