Here's to the years that don't meet expectations.
The years that scratch like crumpled shirt tags
and pinch like too-tight shoes.
Here's to the years that pull the curtain back and
shine a light onto things we'd rather not face--the
perfect imperfections of life that cause us to stop
and catch our breath, lean into one another a
little, and gather our scattered blessings like
diamonds.
Such was this year, and from it comes this
slightly unorthodox, but very heartfelt
holiday greeting from our family-- with a picture
to match:)
December
21, 2016
Christmas
Greetings,
Normally
when I sit down to write our annual letter, I am safe in my comfortable
home, surrounded by the joyful sounds, scents, and sights of the season, which
makes it easy to launch into the joyous retelling of events from our past
year—accomplishments of the children, milestones reached, miles traveled,
experiences enjoyed.
This year I
wrote my Christmas letter in a hospital waiting room, while anxiously awaiting
a doctor’s explanation for why Jamey had been unable to swallow normally for
the past month.
My original thinking was
that it would be a quiet, uninterrupted place to write, and it that it would
also help me keep my mind off how concerned I was about Jamey.
But it
didn’t work that way. The waiting room
was packed full of tired, worried faces, and after Jamey left to be prepped for
his procedure I just sat there for a long time, wedged into a corner seat with
my laptop balanced on my knees, staring blankly around the room as my blank computer
screen stared back at me.
Lest anyone
be alarmed, let me say right here that Jamey’s scope and biopsy results came
back clear and the problem was able to be treated with medication, but at that
moment, I did not know what we would hear and I couldn’t think of a single
notable thing to write about.
As I watched,
I saw one person after another get up, hand their belongings to the one(s) who
had come with them, and then pass through the double doors at the end of a
sterile hallway.
Here it was, the week
before Christmas and all of us were sitting among strangers in a room full of
uncertainty, contemplating a future full of question marks.
And one word
kept coming to my mind. “Emmanuel!” It was both a statement of what I knew, and
a desperate cry from a heart begging for reassurance.
“God, You are with us. Please be with us!”
And suddenly
I knew what I wanted to write. And I
wrote it. But before I share it with
you, I want to say that I hope the tone of the following letter does not strike
people as too heavy.
My intention was
not to pull everyone’s spirits down, but rather to say this: Some years are more lighthearted and the
focus of the holidays can be on the fun and frolic. Some years are weightier, and actually I have
found the Advent season to be even more precious in those times because the truth
behind it comes like a lifeline into a dark sea.
Truly, “the
people walking in darkness have seen a great light!” And so, here is my waiting room Christmas
card--
“It is the week before Christmas, and the
short update on our family is that we are under the care of a wise and loving
God. We spent the year learning better
how to love and serve one another, growing in grace and knowledge, discovering
things about the world and about ourselves, and adapting to the road before
us.
We also spent time disappointing each
other, forgiving each other, attempting new things, and sometimes
backtracking. Like everyone, we made
mistakes and (hopefully) learned from them, experienced joy, laughed at each
other and ourselves, and cried over hurts and disappointments.
Jamey and I continue to be amazed by what God
teaches us through our children. They
are a delight to us and we are grateful for what they have added to our
lives.
I continue to be amazed by my husband
and his ability to balance the ministry of medicine with his family and civic
responsibilities—all while navigating a fairly constant stream of
health-related setbacks. Talk about
bearing the burdens of others! He has
been a beautiful example of this to all of us, and we are so grateful for him.
This brings me to today. Some events clear your thinking. Some cloud it. Some put things into perspective and some
make you change your perspective entirely.
This particular setback in Jamey’s health is one of those events.
Among other things, this has been a week of
trying to protect my children from the possibility that this day could
radically change our lives. As I went
about the business of making lunches, explaining math concepts, laughing at
jokes, listening to problems, mediating disputes, marveling over
accomplishments, doing laundry and doing hair during the last few weeks, I
carried a boulder on my shoulders.
It
was made of “what ifs” and “what thens”, pain, fear, sadness, and as I looked
at my children’s happy faces, I wanted nothing more than to be sure that none
of that weight fell on them even one second sooner than it had to.
Because I knew it might have to. Even as I write, I know it might have to.
For me, everything is theology. And theology is very often mirrored in the
mundane. It just so happened that the
season of Advent, the season of “Emmanuel, God with us”, hit perfectly for me
this year. My month of carrying a lonely
burden so that my children wouldn’t have to reminded me so much of the way God
shoulders the weight of things that would crush His children.
He took on fear and sorrow and flesh to carry
the weight of my guilt and sin. He took
on death to deliver me to life. He took
on shame to give me an inheritance of mercy and grace that I could never have
earned.
He gives me His Holy Spirit to
comfort, guide, and instruct me when I don’t know my own mind. He veils the road before me so as not to
overwhelm me, allowing me to –like my children this week—have real joy even as
He holds the knowledge of impending sorrow, struggle, and pain.
And when I do have to walk through
the valley, He stays by me as my comforter, protector, and friend.
This is not wishful thinking. For anyone who does not know the beauty of
being loved by the God of the Universe, I pray you will find Him, know Him, and
learn to love Him. His love is real. His power is absolute. His goodness is perfect. And I can say that even when my future is
full of question marks, because He has proven Himself to me as my Abba Father
from the time I was a little child, and I trust Him to carry me through.
In John 10:10-11, Jesus says, “I have
come that they may have life, and have it in all its fullness.”
This is my
story. He is my life, my hope, and my
true home.
We came from somewhere. We are here for a purpose, and the business
of life is to find it, and hopefully find the One who can make sense of it for
us, and ultimately bring us home safe to Himself.
If you are curious, or skeptical, or cynical,
or maybe you just need a reminder about the One whose birth we are celebrating
this season, would you take a few moments, open the book of John and just
read?
My hope is that you would open
your heart this season to the God who gave up heaven to come to this tiny, pain-wracked
planet—this terrestrial “waiting room”-- to give us good news.
***********************
So there you have it.
In His
mercy, this year our fears did not become reality, but when someday they do—and
that day WILL come for all of us--those truths will remain the place where we
can stand.
As you
gather your dear ones to you this season, will you remember all those who did
not get good news this year, as well as those who are living in persecution,
poverty, loneliness, and pain?
The
truths of this season are for them, and we are the ones called to bring the
good news and to love them as Christ has first loved us. May that be our story this year, and every
year!
For anyone
interested in following the Birmingham clan’s daily adventures and
misadventures, please friend us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, or check
out our family’s blog at:
jdbirmingham.blogspot.com
Or just stop
by! Jamey will make coffee, I’ll pull up
some chairs or take you on a stroll through the gardens, and if you’re lucky
Rebekah and Christina will bake you a pie.
Also, Isaiah and Kaiden will tell you everything you ever wanted to know
about Cadillacs, Ford Raptors, and Dodge Chargers, Keira will draw you 10
pictures, Elijah will introduce you to Brutus, and Jude will probably show you
a frog.
Come anyway;) We’d love to see
you!
Much love
from the Birminghams
Galatians 4:3-7
“So also,
when we were children, we were enslaved under the basic principles of the
world. But when the time had fully come, God sent His Son, born of a woman,
born under the Law, to redeem those under the Law, that we might receive our
adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into
our hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a
son; and since you are a son, you are also an heir through God.”
John 3:16
“For God so
loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whosoever believes in
Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.”
****************
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