Jamey and I (Sandra) took the children for a picnic dinner in the park tonight, and then stayed so the little ones could do the playground, and Jamey could try to smear the older ones at Bocce ball (it didn't work out so well). I sat on a park bench and watched my (not so) little crew in pure contentment.
I hadn't realized before how much of each child's individual temperament comes out in their play. I guess I don't usually sit and stare at them for three hours straight.
Once again, I am struck by God's sense of humor. He must love a chuckle. Why else would He wire us all so differently and then have us live together in one big pile for 18+ years--or in the case of Jamey and me--forever!
I am not complaining! How dull it would be if everyone were exactly like me. My lifelong challenge as a firstborn, perfectionistic, melancholy, type-A individual is to appreciate the characteristics of my second (or third or fourth) born, free spirited, laid-back, spontaneous children. And to see that in fact, their strengths are a perfect balance for my weaknesses, and that my strengths are needed to help bolster them where they falter.
Beautiful plan! I hope to learn to live within it better.
So here is a rundown of what I saw tonight. I'll start with 2 year old Keira. Her main goal was to run as far as possible, as fast as possible, leading with her head, followed closely by her belly, with feet churning furiously behind her, as if struggling to keep up. She was like one of those wind-up toys that just chug forward in whatever direction you set them down.
I pointed her to the little kids' play set, and she went right up the ladder on one side, down the slide on the other, and then forward across the playground to the big kids' play set, where she scaled up another slide (backwards), crossed a bridge and barreled down an even bigger slide. She turfed at the bottom--pretty hard--picked herself up and headed straight out of the park before being rescued by Jude.
Poor Jude--such a careful, concerned child! He was a bundle of nerves on the playground because of the sheer lack of foresight exhibited by his siblings. He went between Kaiden and Keira, cautioning, "That's too high! Come down! Don't go to the edge! Mom! He's on the edge! That swing is too fast! Mom! Keira is by the swings!"
I would have gotten up off the bench if anyone had been in real danger, but Jude was so solicitous, that I never had to move. He scooped Keira off the ground, and guided her past all the obvious (to him) pitfalls. Keira thanked him by shouting, "No!", pushing his hands away, and running in the other direction. Kaiden, busy conquering the highest heights of every piece of playground equipment (and then jumping off), also gave Jude palpitations.
I think by the end of the night, Jude's opinion of my mothering skills had fallen a few notches, despite my efforts to convince him that no one had at any point been in true mortal danger. He did manage to play with the "dig-digger" for a while and was amused and distracted for a few minutes by a fellow 4 year old who had wet his pants on the slide.
Kaiden (age 3) was absolutely determined to master every contraption at the park--and he did, even though he fell off, and slipped through, and bounced off most of them at least once. Even the climbing wall and the fireman's pole were mastered. (Those actually did give me visions of a possible trip to the ER.) I have rarely seen tenacity like that boy possesses, and so young! May God use it for good. He really could rule the world one day.
Isaiah and Christina (second born children, both) played bocce ball and took turns accidentally hurting their team-mates, and entertaining them. Both of them are loads of fun to be around--and also a little dangerous, due to occasional lapses in foresight:) But they are so creative and funny that you almost don't notice the breakages and injuries they sometimes cause. And they have giant hearts.
I heard lots of laughing on the bocce field (of which I am sure they were the cause) and I also noticed that they both took a long time to play with their younger siblings at the playground. Lovely!
Elijah (age 9) played on the swings for a while, and then left us for Nottingham Forest, where he spent the remainder of the evening battling rogue trees and boulders with his trusty...stick. He needs no entertaining because his world goes right along with him, wherever he roams. He loves us all and enjoys being with us, but the door is always open to his fertile imagination. Sometimes when I go outside, and he is lying on his stomach making eye contact with some bug or another, I will speak and he will look up at me like I am a strange creature a long way off and he is trying to figure out how to understand my language. He reminds me of myself at that age...and sometimes of myself at this age. I still visit Sandraland sometimes:)
And then there was Rebekah, dressed in flowing white skirt, with her hair up in a floral ribbon, floating above the fray, like a benevolent (and extremely patient) fairy--wiping mouths at dinner, pushing swings, giving gentle correction, encouraging every little climber, swinger, and slider, and finally, throwing her bocce balls with the grace of a ballerina. She managed to be everywhere at once, doing everything for everyone. I am still trying to figure out how to do that.
What a nice evening! Jamey and I are truly blessed, and I can't wait to see what God does with all these little bundles of potentiality. May I see them all as He does, and parent them accordingly.
Amen.
