*Sigh*
Greetings from the Birmingham Family!
As of December 12th, 2013, we are now a family
of nine! Over three years ago, we
welcomed Kaiden and Keira into our home, and last week we made them a part of
our forever family!
Last December we were preparing to send them back to a
life of uncertainty with a birth mom who had told us that she wasn’t
ready.
This year, we are rejoicing that
at least in this one case, the state laid aside their “reunification at all
costs” mindset and allowed them, with the blessing of their birth mom, to
remain with us. That is our biggest,
happiest news, and the greatest gift we could have imagined.
As I reflect over
the path that led us here, it is a mosaic of the bitter and the sweet. There were the months of waiting and
wondering, the many times we started packing up the children’s things after
being told they were leaving us, the struggles with the legal system, the
heartbreak of their birth mom, the frustrations of working within a broken child
welfare system.
There were also beautiful awakenings in Kaiden and Keira
as their hearts came alive to love, acceptance, and safety… mornings when I
would find four boys peacefully constructing a Lego universe in their room
while listening to Hank the Cowdog…sweet interactions between the older girls
and Keira as they did her hair or read her stories…little acts of service from
one child to another. Among the
struggles there were so many examples of “my life for yours” and chances to
give and receive grace.
Today is our 19th wedding anniversary, and as
I think about that day and the plans we had for our life together, it makes me
smile. We never would have believed that
our family would be built this way.
We
would probably have argued the wisdom of many of the decisions we have made. We
might have lived with more fear and less boldness and if so, we might have
missed the blessing of facing the days with a keen awareness of our own
limitations and enormous gratitude for the sufficiency of Christ.
In that spirit, I asked the children to name some of the
things they are most grateful for this year, and here is a partial list:
Keira—“I’m thankful for babies, my dresses,
and my toys.”
Keira (age 4) has exploded into a world of speech this
year. She is increasingly able to
communicate in clear, complete sentences and has made huge strides in
coordination thanks to the wonderful speech and occupational therapists we have
available to us through our local school—and due to her hard work! She is affectionate and loving and
adventurous.
Although our dear Grammi
passed away last January, Keira talks about her all the time with great
affection. Last week she strolled
through the kitchen with a baby doll under each arm and announced, “Tomorrow I
want to go to heaven and play with God and Jesus and Grammi.” Grammi loved dolls and Keira is a kindred
spirit!
Kaiden—“I’m grateful for Tabby (our cat),
brothers, bunk beds (we got quadruple bunks this year), and my Bible stick (an
audio version of the Bible in a mini-mp3 player from Grandma Sally).”
Kaiden (age 6) has a desire to accomplish big
things. He doesn’t dabble, he
conquers! So, for instance, this year
when he saw his older brothers making various types of paper airplane, he spent
several weeks surrounded by piles of paper, folding and folding until he
mastered “the dart”.
The same
determination went toward dribbling a basketball, riding a bike, and drawing a
light sabre!
He is opening his heart to
affection and forgiveness, and exhibits a peaceful spirit much more often. He is often the first child to wake up in the
morning, and enjoys trying to sneak up on me with his stuffed animals and a
sleepy little grin.
Jude—“I’m grateful for that God came to
save us from our sin, for creatures that I can catch and pet and color, for
snow sledding, and for springtime and brothers.”
Jude (age 6) spent the entire summer in the creek. Some mornings, just as the sun was peeking
over the trees I would see him streaking across the lawn with his yellow bucket
and (usually mismatched) rubber boots, wearing look of determination on his
face from which no fish, cricket, or frog was safe.
Thankfully, most of the creatures he caught
survived his relentless observation, although we had to have several funerals
for the rare casualties of his catch and release program:)
Isaiah (age 8)—“I’m
thankful for God’s creation, for beautiful Christmas trees and how Jesus came
to earth for us, and for apples and pigs-in-the-blanket.”
Isaiah’s body and mind never stop moving, even in his
sleep—hence the rain of blankets, animals, books, and pillows that falls on the
occupant of the bunk below him all night.
He is full of excellent questions, accurate (if sometimes inappropriate)
observations, enthusiastic ideas (and the energy necessary to implement them),
and boundless good will.
He has a very
tender heart and this year has exhibited a real desire to learn what is right
and do it, and he is quick to apologize when he needs to. His love of food continues unabated, and he
would bake a cake every day if I let him:)
Elijah—“I am thankful for the fact that God
paid for my sin on the cross, for family to support each other during hard
times, and for books.”
Elijah (age 11) is a complex mixture of kindness and
strength--like his father! He loves to
do manly things and he has high expectations for himself and others.
God is teaching him about patience and life
is teaching him how to handle the frustrations of living with a bunch of people
who don’t always share his vision of how things should be!
We are so proud of the growth and maturity he
has developed over the past year in his roles as son, brother, teammate, and
student.
Christina—“I am thankful for my new little
brother and sis, for our church family, and for God’s protection in my life.”
Christina (age 15) is the sparkler in our home. She has a gift for making things fun—even
picking up toys and folding laundry is more enjoyable when she is in
charge.
She is carrying a very full
sophomore workload through the Classical Conversations Challenge program, in
addition to earning a spot in the Grand Rapids Youth Symphony (on viola), and
being a huge help with her younger siblings.
She has developed an interest in photography, putting together a lovely
gallery in our upstairs hallway. She
also has a knack for furniture restoration, and this summer she re-did a
cricket rocker from Goodwill with chalk paint and coordinating upholstery!
Rebekah—“I’m thankful for the adoption of
Kaiden and Keira, for parents who lead me in the ways I should go, and for a
God who is faithful even when I am not.”
Rebekah (age 18) is now a college freshman, studying
music therapy. She lives here at home
and either drives herself to class or commutes with Jamey. His office is right by the college, so she is
able to hang out there between classes, which is nice for both of them.
Somehow she also manages to help our little
ones with their school, tutor Latin, teach harp lessons, take on harp gigs and
volunteer work, and babysit. Most
importantly, she is a woman of faith and strength and compassion and
peace. We are so grateful for the spirit
she brings to our home!
As for Jamey and me…we could fill another letter with the
things we are grateful for…our “new” children (and our old ones:), Jamey’s job, the freedom
to homeschool, the growth that happens in hard times, the comfort of good
friends and family, our church home, and most of all, the invitation that all
of us have to be adopted into the family of God.
Our family all wore matching
shirts to our adoption hearing (except Jamey who came from work:). They said “ADOPTED” across the front, and
here’s why--
This whole adoption experience has given me a new
appreciation for what it means to be able to approach God not as a fearful and
distant ruler in the sky, but as an Abba Father—a loving Daddy. We all come as orphans to this hard
place. We don’t understand love or mercy
or grace.
Sometimes we lash out at the
hand that is reaching for us. Sometimes
in our fear and disbelief we trample on the heart that offers us a home.
But God loved us so much, that He was willing
to endure every sacrifice—even up to a cruel death in our stead—so that we might
have a place in his family. We can all
be adopted!
We hope this letter finds you happy and well
and enjoying the delights of the season.
As always, we extend a hearty welcome to any and all who might want to
plan a visit to the Birmingham Bed and Breakfast. (Motto:
“Not very quiet, but never dull”:)
Merry Christmas from the Birminghams!
May
the beauty of God’s adoption story be the heart of your Christmas!
“But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son,
born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive
adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has
sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir
through God.” --Galatians 4:4-7
