I have tried living as a human. Frankly, it is exhausting. It is often painful. It holds out all sorts of promises and then, wham-o!
It falls short of expectations.
I remember when I first started out as a human. I had dreams. Big ones.
Is it too much to ask to be a famous singer who also plays pro-volleyball? No! Shouldn't I be able to fly? Yes! And grow dimples? By all means! And be six feet tall? Absolutely!
And I'm pretty sure that at some point I was told, "If you can dream it, you can do it," but did ONE of those childhood dreams come true for me? Nope.
Not only that, but it turns out (if the statistics are right) that the human condition is almost universally fatal. Fatal!
Not to mention how many irritating "people" you have to interact with. Just because you are human, other humans automatically think they get to be all up in your business. Talking. And asking you to do stuff that you don't want to do, and taking you places you don't want to go, and forcing you to use alarm clocks and deodorant.
I bring this to your attention as a public service because "too many people have been hurt".
Children, women--even men--have begun life as starry-eyed humans, only to end up dead and discouraged. Although not usually in that order.
"Others have grown bitter and jaded."
I see a "discernible pattern of harm, and it must be addressed". Some humans are "beginning to speak up". They are "seeing the problems with trying to acclimate" to this odd group. They are tired of the "constant under-achieving", and the "problems of proper socialization", and the "burden of high expectations", so they are "joining forces to create a growing community of misfits, survivors, and allies".
"Some are calling for increased government oversight" of human activities.
"Some are exploring paths to peace outside" humanity.
Because ultimately, "anything good cannot possibly have this many problems associated with it". Right?
Simple deflective reasoning, folks!
So! I have decided to throw in my lot with the lemurs. I am changing my orientation, joining forces with the peaceful, wide-eyed danglers of the Madagascar forests (and assorted North American zoos)--if they will have me. I have a letter in to the Duke Lemur colony in North Carolina, but I haven't heard back.
Why lemurs, you ask? Well, continuing with my faultless logic, how many lemurs do you know who have ever been cited for road rage? How many abusive lemurs have you met? A lemur with a drinking problem? Unheard of. A rude lemur? Never! A lemur with unruly children? Doesn't exist. Littering lemurs? Looting lemurs? Loitering lemurs? Well, maybe, but loitering is a very minor offense in the grand scheme of things.
Let's not get picky.
I'd invite you to join me, but I'm afraid that, as the old saying goes, "too many humans spoil the Utopian fantasy," so I'm going alone.
Shangri-lemur, here I come!
What? Why do you have that strange look on your face? I am using logic straight from the pages of all the best magazines and websites!
These are some of the leading arguments of people who want to leave pretty much any human system and join another these days.
Didn't you see my quotation marks? I took them directly from recently published articles on the topics of, "why I am leaving homeschooling", "why I can no longer support courtship", "why I am no longer a Christian", "why the patriarchy movement is horrible", "why I ended my marriage", and "why I walked away from evangelicalism."
These are just the ones I have come across recently in my circles of interest, but I dare say there are similar sentiments coming from the other side of the political and religious spectrum.
Then I noticed that the common thread in all of them was HUMAN INVOLVEMENT, so I just drew out the argument to its logical conclusion, and--voila! It led me to lemurs.
OK. So I'm not really going to join the lemurs. (Yet.) But I was trying to make a point about the trend in the articles I've been reading lately.
It would be just as ridiculous for me to write off the entire human race for not meeting my expectations as it is for an individual to condemn an entire movement or system or belief by saying, "Well, lots of the people who have participated in it were hurt."
Yep. They were. It's part of being a human being participating in life.
Sometimes Christians practice their faith inconsistently and they hurt people.
Sometimes homeschoolers are overly lax or overly strict, and they hurt people.
Sometimes evangelicals don't extend grace the way they should and they hurt people.
Sometimes the fathers who were trying to protect their daughters in the patriarchy or courtship movement are heavy handed, or unloving, or hypocritical, and they hurt people.
Sometimes spouses and parents are insensitive and rude and they hurt people.
There are many good reasons for chucking out a belief system, but "people were hurt" is not a particularly strong one since it is present in EVERY SINGLE HUMAN ENDEAVOR.
As such, it certainly shouldn't be the one people lead with when they want to change directions.
What if I can find just as many "people who were not hurt by courtship/homeschooling/public schooling/evangelicalism/fill-in-the-blank" to stand on my side? Where will we have gotten in our discussion?
We might as well face each other and blow raspberries.
Because those arguments work the other way too. What if I can point to hundreds of people who have come out of abuse or addiction--or prison camps--and gone on to live productive lives? Maybe they have even used their experiences to make them stronger people. Can I then justify those things as healthy lifestyle options?
I think the problem lies in our desire to find a "program" to get behind or a "movement" to join. So we look around and find one that appeals, and then because we are human,
One that will either:
1) justify us in our desire to engage in a certain behavior, or
2) bring peace to our chaos.
Because sometimes we just want to do what we want to do, and we crave validation.
And other times, when life is swirling around our feet and threatening our plans and undermining our confidence, we start to desire a sanctuary--a foolproof prescription for life, a "program" wherein we can enter our symptoms, or fears, or future hopes for ourselves or our children, and get a handy print-out containing "12 Steps Guaranteed to Get you From Here to There."
There is no such thing. No "one size fits all" group we can join that will fix our problem.
As usual, God gave us something better, and it was no cookie cutter program.
He gave us a relationship with him. We are beloved individuals--sons and daughters created to operate within a world of beautiful principles which He has scattered through His word like diamonds.
Principles for how to live in a right relationship with Him.
Principles for how to gain the right perspective about ourselves.
Principles for how to relate properly with others.
Not mere programs.
Sometimes, however, for the sake of clarity the principles can be grouped together in an organized fashion and given a name. Courtship, for example. Evangelicalism. Complementarianism.
This can be useful for those who are searching for a way to apply the attitudes and actions they have determined to be true, but it is never the system that saves. It is the individual application of truth.
Truth is truth, no matter where it is found. God created it. He communicates it in His word and illuminates it with His Spirit. He reveals it to those with humble, teachable hearts and yearning souls. It can be applied everywhere and always.
Let's take some of the "one anothers" found in Scripture, for example.
We are told to love one another. (John 13:34)
Honor others above ourselves. (Romans 12:10)
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. (Romans 12:10)
Live in harmony with one another. (Romans 12:16)
Instruct one another. (Colossians 3:16)
Serve one another in love. (Galatians 5:13)
Be patient with one another. (Ephesians 4:2)
Be humble toward one another. (1 Peter 5:5)
Be kind and compassionate. (Ephesians 4:32)
Bear with one another. (Colossians 3:13)
Submit to one another. (Ephesians 5:21)
Encourage one another. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Be willing to associate with those in low positions. (Romans 12:16)
We are admonished not to deceive one another. (Leviticus 19:11)
Not to steal from one another. (Ditto)
Not to lie to one another. (And again, but also elsewhere.)
Not to be proud or conceited. (Romans 12:16)
And this is a VERY partial list gathered from some recent sermon notes. (Thank you, Pastor Ford:)
You can see how someone who wished to apply these principles to the process of finding a spouse, for instance, might run into trouble with a traditional dating culture full of selfish hook-ups, casual sex, and serial partners.
So, such a person might use some of the "one anothers" to design a "system" with the goal of protecting the hearts of both the pursuer and the pursued.
He might suggest that a person should treat potential partners the way he would want someone to treat his future wife--gently, with pure motives, in a considerate, unselfish manner, with accountability built in to guard against human weakness.
Such a system might eventually develop a name for ease of discussion. (In this scenario, picture putting all the goals and principles for finding a mate into a basket and putting a "Hello, My Name Is Courtship" tag on it.)
But there is no magic in the name. You can practice courtship righteously--or you can do it selfishly or rigidly or lustfully and reap what you sow.
Conversely, you could apply truth parameters to the "dating" model which might then allow it to be done with integrity, purity, and accountability.
The principles have the power.
The same holds for homeschooling. It can be done sloppily or harshly or lazily or angrily, but if you do it like that you are not likely to achieve the goals you have set for education, discipleship, or character. There is no magic.
Ditto for marriage. It can be entered into selfishly or thoughtlessly or callously and be a disaster. Or it can be practiced with love and devotion and selflessness and humility and become something of great beauty.
Bottom line in the words of Job "Those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it."
Galatians 6:7-8 says, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life."
There is no end run around the consequences for not doing things God's way--although He is very gracious and patient and forgiving. Goodness knows He has covered over my failings time and time again, but that doesn't mean I am going to stop trying to find out what pleases His heart, and then DO IT.
Why? Well, it has nothing to do with earning brownie points for heaven. Nor do I have any interest in my own personal "Club for People Who Are Better Than You".
It is simply that I love Him.
I trust Him.
He has covered me with grace and made me His daughter. For this reason, I will never stop trying to search out His wisdom and His ways.
And I never, ever want to give in to the kind of lazy thinking that accepts "any old way" because some people survive it, or condemns an entire movement because some people try it and get hurt.
I want to examine my decisions in light of what I know of God, and with a sober view of my own tendencies toward sinful self-justification.
Enough hopping on and off judgmental bandwagons whenever the wind changes direction!
And conversely, no more bestowing blanket blessings over everyone, everywhere in every way.
I want to figure out where God wants me to go and how he wants me to live. I want to evaluate my options with wisdom. True, I may be able to arrive at the same endpoint by several different paths (for instance, purity in choosing a mate), but which one involves less risk? Which one is a better fit for my temperament and temptations? Which has the best chance for success, as defined by God? What have I seen work for others? What has not worked for others? Why or why not?
If want to know His heart for my life, it will involve the constant use of my head, and effort beyond knee jerk reactions to what other people have done.
Wake up, Christians! (And I am preaching to myself.) Don't settle for programs. You have been given a Gift of matchless worth, and a brain to understand it! Read it. Meditate on it, and then read it again. Think it through. Learn to love it. Pray for discernment. Lay your decisions at His feet and pray again.
Not in fear of making a mistake, but in expectation of the promise that, "if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:5
Amen and amen. Thank you, Jesus!
Simple. Personal. Beautiful. True.
**********
Psalm 119:54-64
wherever I lodge.
This has been my practice:
I have promised to obey your words.
and have turned my steps to your statutes.
I will hasten and not delay
Though the wicked bind me with ropes,
to all who follow your precepts.
teach me your decrees.
1 comment:
I love this. And I love how you caught me completely off-guard in your relationship between joining lemurs and people leaving one system of thought for another. You are writing truth - keep going.
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