But I have professed faith in Christ, and that comes with some obligations, one of which is to speak the truth in love.
Let me begin by saying that this post is for other Christians. It does not apply to those who have not identified with Christ and His teachings. If you have not done that, then I cannot expect that you will agree with me and I would never judge you for that.
My desire for all people is that they will one day come to know the peace of trading the weight of sin and guilt for the joy of forgiveness and son-ship through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ. If you care to explore that idea further, then I suggest reading this article.
Basically, there is no reason you should care what God thinks of your behavior if you don't know Him. That has to happen first, because only once you really know Him can you LOVE Him--and then like with any person you love to distraction, the goal of pleasing Him and making Him happy will become paramount in your mind.
Your whole existence will become framed in terms of finding out more about this great Savior, Lover, and Friend, and you will go about the business of arranging your world so as to achieve the greatest possible intimacy with Him.
You will want to love Him back the way He loves you. You will try to find out what pleases His heart and do it. You will seek to know which things make Him sad and avoid them. You will read about Him. You will listen to Him. You will talk with Him.
From the moment you meet Him--and ever after as your knowledge of His goodness and justice and mercy deepens--His opinion of "the way things ought to be" will trump every other voice and you will not care a jot about how unpopular or weird that makes you in the eyes of the world.
Not everyone understands what I just said, but Friend, if you call yourself a Christian, you should.
But that is not happening as often as it ought. There are some blogs and articles and Christian popsters who are getting all mushy on the basics of sin and holiness.
I'm not talking about peripheral issues of personal conviction mentioned once or twice in Scripture and then debated around the edges for 600 years.
Or non-essentials that simmer and stew in academic settings and end up creating 31 different flavors of Baptist.
I'm talking about basic, undisputed-until-the-last-30-years foundational teachings about the permanence of marriage, the parameters of personal sexuality, the sacredness of life (both young and old), and the divine design for family which mirrors trinitarian love and stretches all the way back to creation.
Christian! Since when does "God wants me to be happy" trump what He has specifically forbidden you to do?
Child of God! How can you appeal to your nature to justify a behavior or an impulse when you know that your heart is desperately wicked, prone to self-deception, and in constant need of re-direction?
Blood-bought Believer! How do you dare wink and grin at sin in your life or the lives of others?
How do you willingly slide your hand into the iron grasp of the deceiver once you have tasted the freedom of forgiveness and the promise of new life?
How could you encourage others to stay in bondage and blindness when you yourself have been delivered?
And then call it love?
Let's apply the same test to some less controversial issues.
Take one of mine, for instance.
I happen to have a besetting sin. Most of you are saying, "Amen, Sister! You sure do, and it is about time you come clean about it."
Alright already. I'm going to. Sheesh!
Anyway, I'm mostly talking to the people who don't know what it is--like my friends and family who live really far away and complete strangers.
So, for a long time, I allowed this particular sin to romp through my life at will. For a while, I claimed it as part of my personality type--which it is! Some call it a critical spirit. I liked to think of it as "brutally perceptive", and since I preferred to mix it with a dismissive attitude, arrogance, and a quick temper, it made me...let's say, "spicy".
In fact, I even considered this tendency to be a virtue at times, since it drove me to be excellent and to surround myself with other excellent people. My thought was that those who were not committed to excellence, should be, and that by applying my keen powers of observation, my ability to cut to the heart of the matter, my precise use of language, and sometimes even my quick temper (or "passion", as I called it), I could mold people into better versions of themselves.
Those unwilling to conform to my ways of thinking held very little interest for me. They were irritating, stubborn, thick, and unworthy of my time. I normally ended up brushing them out of my life like crumbs off a tablecloth.
Then I got married--to a man with the exact same, very rare, personality type (What are the odds! We are the 1%!), the exact same tendency to view the world with a sharp eye, a sharp tongue, and a dismissive spirit. And God chuckled because we sometimes disagreed strongly on things and yet, there we were, married. No brushing off allowed.
And we realized that this critical spirit and the resulting anger at those who dared see things differently was no virtue. It was a thorn bush combined with a flame thrower. It was born of pride and arrogance. It was lacking in grace. It was not patient or forbearing, kind, or any other shade of loving.
So we practiced developing patience with one another, practiced speaking kindly and trying to see the other one's point, forgave when we didn't want to, stayed in the conversation when we wanted to leave the room, considered the possibility that God was moving our hearts and perspectives at different speeds in different ways.
We practiced killing our own, inborn natures, for the benefit of one another, and because we were called to live--not a natural life, but a holy one.
It wasn't a one-time deal. We didn't just decide to stop being tempted by our natural inclinations, but we found that the more we chose to obey and "live above", the easier it got to choose that path the next time. Praying helped. Accountability helped. Progress was made.
Then we had children, and our tidy INFJ world exploded for real. I love my children, but I will tell you one thing I have learned. They don't care about my flawless logic. Often they can't (or won't) follow my reasoning. They can't be moved from frustrating to flawless in three easy steps.
They also cannot be brushed off when I've "had enough". They stay. And they say the same wrong things, and do the same wrong things, and push the same wrong buttons day after day after day.
And God used and is using them to break me of my notions about the virtues of perfectionism, critical eyes, and sharp words. This may be the way I was born, these may be my particular temptations, but that doesn't mean I get to live there because as a Christian I am called to live against my nature.
But wait! I took the test and discovered that these are my natural inclinations! 1% of the rest of the world share these tendencies with me. How could we be wrong? We are just beautiful, exotic birds who flutter in the rare air of clarity about how right we are compared to everyone else!
Except that if I exercise this aspect of my "personality type" with my children, my friends, and my spouse, I will crush them and they will grow to despise me.
And so I find that the God who designed me was right when He said, "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." Philippians 2:3-7
Why am I surprised that my way, although natural, was ultimately unsatisfying and destructive?
I am called to die to myself and live in the power of Christ for the benefit of others and for the glory of His name. I am called to worship God in holiness. I am called to know His word and submit to it. I am called to take up my cross (does this sound like happy talk?) and follow Him wherever He leads, whatever it costs me, even if it goes against my specific personality type and makes me uncomfortable.
All Christians are called to this. If you call yourself a Christian you may not read a passage that talks about "considering others as better than yourself" and then go about demeaning others with proud eyes and vicious words. No matter what your personality type is.
You may not read a passage that says, "thou shalt not steal" and help yourself to someone else's stuff. Even if you really want it.
You cannot be commanded to care for the poor and insulate yourself in luxury. Even if you enjoy it.
You cannot discover that "God hates a lie" and go about spreading slanderous gossip, or cheat your boss, or live a double life with your spouse. Even if you love the power.
You can't be commanded to care for the widow and orphan in their distress and ignore their cries for help. Even if it is easier.
You can't identify yourself as a Christ follower and then indulge your sexuality in any form other than that which He has blessed--in the marriage between one man and one woman as a picture of the perfect, pure union of Christ and His bride, the church. Even if it feels good.
And this, I fear, is where the church is getting bogged down right now. The cultural cacophony is clouding its vision. I am seeing Christians write and approve of blogs which condemn other believers for trying to hold to a standard for sexuality which is clearly spelled out in Scripture.
I understand the temptation. Very few areas are so closely personal and powerful as human sexuality.
But this deception shares roots with my pet sin of a critical spirit, and my child's pet sin of deception, and your boss' pet sin of greed, and your neighbor's pet sin of laziness.
And your own pet sin.
And actually, those roots go all the way back to the garden, where a serpent looks at a woman and asks, "Hath God said?"
Somehow, Christ-followers, we can look into the heart of God, we can see His love for us, we can experience His fellowship and still, still ask ourselves if He knows what He is doing.
Has the God who designed all things made a mistake in this or that "one thing"? Does He need my help correcting His oversight? Do my tendencies, temptations, and proclivities have the right to rule over my Maker?
Is He God, or am I?
If I am pushing Him off His throne then I'd better not be claiming His name.
And if I am bowing before it, I'd better not be throwing up roadblocks to others who may want to join me. That means not condoning sin in myself or in fellow believers.
It also means not offering pursed lips and folded arms, epithets and cold shoulders to lost and searching souls all around us. Yes, they were born with particular temptations. So were you. So was I. Yes, God wants to help them overcome their besetting sins, but not until after they meet Him.
So introduce them. Hold out your hands, open your homes, put warmth in your voices and eyes. They are image bearers. They were worth dying for. Show them Who loves them like that, and let Him do the work of turning all the tiny shards and slivers of their lives into beauty--as He has your own.
But don't, don't, don't bless the things that destroy them for the sake of seeming big-hearted.
You wouldn't put sand into the gas-tank of a Maserati. You wouldn't let one of your children try to live solely on a diet of TicTacs. You wouldn't touch up a Rembrandt with a Sharpie.
Likewise, you shouldn't pronounce good what God has called otherwise. WE are His masterpieces. He has designed us and knows us better than we know ourselves. More than that, He has bought us back from our own folly. If we claim His name, accept His gift, and expect His blessings, we MUST put ourselves under His care--and that means submitting to His authority, even against popular culture and human nature.
Again, I am offering this warning to myself as much as anyone else. I know my powers of self-justification.
All I can say is know Him better.
Know Him so well that you will see deception before it overtakes you.
Know His word so intimately that it flows through your heart and mind all day.
Know yourself well enough to see your weaknesses and temptations.
Connect with His people so that when you are weak, they will not let you go.
Because no impulse, habit, personality trait, or pet sin, can compare with the beauty of a life lived in surrendered, open, honest fellowship with Christ--on His terms.
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A Love Song
Psalm 119:33-40
Teach me, Lord, the way of your decrees,
that I may follow it to the end.
that I may follow it to the end.
Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law
and obey it with all my heart.
and obey it with all my heart.
Direct me in the path of your commands,
for there I find delight.
for there I find delight.
Turn my heart toward your statutes
and not toward selfish gain.
and not toward selfish gain.
Turn my eyes away from worthless things;
preserve my life according to your word.
preserve my life according to your word.
Fulfill your promise to your servant,
so that you may be feared.
so that you may be feared.
Take away the disgrace I dread,
for your laws are good.
for your laws are good.
How I long for your precepts!
In your righteousness preserve my life.
In your righteousness preserve my life.
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