Until...
...you read something that casts a little light.
And then you talk to a friend who casts a little more.
And you can see an outline, but still it sits in the shadows and resists your efforts to make it out.
Then one day--sometimes while you are thinking about something else entirely--it steps out boldly and your mind goes quiet because you can finally see it and it isn't really what you expected it to be.
It has horns and sharp edges, and it looks a little angry--and you are pretty sure that some of your friends would disagree with it entirely, but you really want to trot it out anyway just to see if it has truth to it...or if maybe it is only a figment dressed up as a factuality.
So, that is the preface to my post. I'm presenting a brand new baby idea here, not a fully developed dogma, and as such, it is likely to grow and change as it ages. Maybe I will end up adopting it. Maybe it will end up with an eviction notice. Time will tell.
In the meantime feel free to air your opinions, either to my face or at the bottom of the page:)
I have been a Christian for a long time. The Christian culture feels like home, and the lingo is my native tongue. I know the 10 Commandments. I have studied and desired to follow the ways of Christ. I am learning the nuances of showing love, and giving grace, and practicing peace.
I want to love my neighbor as myself. I desire to build up the body of Christ, and to disciple my children in the ways of God. Thankfully, the Bible is overflowing with lovely, practical instruction for these things.
But over the years, I have also found myself picking up an extra list of things that good Christians do and do not do. These are developed through practical considerations, and I hope, with pure motives. They include activities we avoid--not because they are forbidden by Scripture, but because they might tempt a weaker person to fall into something which is forbidden by Scripture.
Then there are the places we eschew so as not to give the wrong idea to people who don't have all the information.
There are the holy holiday traditions, and the ones we avoid due to pagan roots or commercialism or past paparchical excesses.
Earnest warnings abound against certain musical instruments, specific types of music, all forms of dancing, fiction literature, pants for women, haircuts for women, and the lack of haircuts for men.
There are hymns that we ignored when I was growing up because of their denomination of origin.
Some of us conservative types have learned over the years to hold our hands by our sides during corporate worship so as not to be too charismatic and to snub the study of the saints lest we be too Catholic.
According to certain prominent Christian leaders, the origin and type of food I eat has become a spiritual issue. And the private medical decisions we make for our family have serious spiritual connotations and speak to our level of faith, or lack thereof.
Can it really be true that the school curriculum I use and the chemical content of my cleaning supplies are equally able to show the world my level of spiritual purity and commitment? What if I make the wrong choice in toilet bowl cleaners?
As the list of stipulations for sainthood scrolls through my head, I get a picture of a dying world watching some members of Chistendom frantically shuffling through their piles of extra-Scriptural appendices, addendums, post-scrips, and checklists to be sure they haven't missed anything , while others of us take turns whopping each other with our "How to Be a Better Christian" rulebooks.
Do we realize that while we are focusing on the non-essentials, a smallish remnant is having to carry out the Great Commission? Have we forgotten the gospel?
Two things convicted me of my part in this. One was a Facebook post from the friend of a friend, the text which I have re-posted with permission here--
"I have a several Christian friends who do not celebrate the traditional Christmas (tree, ornaments, gifts, etc.) Some do so in effort to focus *solely* on Christ and others do not recognize this season as a holiday at all. Some have a tree and nothing else. Others make gifts to give but do not exchange gifts within their family. Some celebrate Advent as the only holiday and others do so and weave other parts of "Christmas" into their life (singing carols, baking cookies, decorating and exchanging gifts).
I hope I have shown respect (or at least tried) to those who choose to do things differently from us, whether that be more or less of how we do it here in the Voiles casa.
I have seen prideful comments on FB from people about how their own children do not know who Santa is, followed by, "and we couldn't be more proud" and I just thought my own perspective might serve as a helpful reminder to what that might sound like to the unbeliever or even new believer ...
I have a very distinct memory as a new Christ-follower, almost 17 years ago, feeling like a fool for allowing and even encouraging a belief in Santa with our little girls. Having had a difficult childhood and very little family to speak of, Santa was one of the only traditions that remained a sweet memory. There was no Christ in Christmas for us and while that seems horrid, I can tell you it was much more devastating to live LIFE without Him. Including Santa was what I "knew" to do. As the girls grew up I found myself defending my Santa decorations (only a few) or our trips to the mall to have our traditional picture.
We have tried HARD to make Christmas be about Christ but the truth is, we need to try harder to be LIKE Christ and with that an abundance of grace should flow.
Could it be that there are families who pretend there is Santa and yet spend time daily in prayer, Bible study, make time to worship and prepare their hearts through advent and try to desperately make the gospel central in how they live their lives? And on that note, those who refute Santa as a distraction and do none of the above?
And then who is worse? Or better? Isaiah 64:6
I guess those who "know better" aren't always great at remembering what life was like before they did (me included)
It is never a true testimony to God's love & grace for us when we make an open condemnation to a world who might be celebrating their first Christmas as believers only to find out they have done it ALL WRONG because they "did Santa" or exchanged too many gifts or had too many decorations.
Now, 5 kids and 17 Christmases later, we have evaluated (and reevaluated) how we "do" Christmas. I am certain that the evolving will continue as God sanctifies our hearts and that spills out into our everyday life. I am so thankful that we don't just get do-overs at Christmastime but everyday. 1 Corinthians 15:10"
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The second part of my epiphany occurred after a conversation I had with a friend who had mentioned that they had decided to forgo ALL of the outward trappings of Christmas this year. I went to her privately to ask more, and she was gracious in her explanation that the tree and the gifts and the decorations, and even the songs had become a distraction in their family. And that for their family, she and her husband had together decided to pull back.
She laid out what it had done for them, but emphasized that it was in no way prescriptive for others, and in fact rejoiced with me when I told her that I am drawn to worship by song and ceremony and symbol. I was touched by her kind tolerance for my different perspective.
These two convictions--two very different decisions from two godly women--caused me to consider the number of areas that God has convicted me about in my own life, and the many changes I have had to make. And the tendency that I have to rush off and try to convince others that my personal, God-given perimeters are, in fact, universal.
Then I started thinking about the different ways I parent my children. Some can handle freedom in areas that would destroy the others. Some types of correction are effective with one and not another. And I do not allow my sons and daughters to clamp onto their siblings the boundaries I have set for them specifically.
How like children we are! How perfect a Father is God!
God is very clear in Scripture what the non-negotiables are. I am not saying that those ever change. I am only saying that if God convicts and restricts me from using one area of the freedom and beauty in His world, it is not loving or profitable for me to try to restrict your use of them. I should instead try to live peacefully within His prescription for me and trust in His love.
That doesn't mean I can't share my story with others. If I have found it easier to remain faithful by giving something up or reining something in, then it is natural that I would want to tell the ones I love. God sometimes uses one person to open the eyes of another.
But if, after I share my story, I still see you running in the freedom that I no longer have, I had better not chase after you with fences and wire and bitterness.
"1Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions.2One person has faith that he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats vegetables only.3The one who eats is not to regard with contempt the one who does not eat, and the one who does not eat is not to judge the one who eats, for God has accepted him.4Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
5One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.6He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God.7For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself;8for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.9For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.
10But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.
11For it is written,
“AS I LIVE, SAYS THE LORD, EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW TO ME,
AND EVERY TONGUE SHALL GIVE PRAISE TO GOD.”
12So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God."--Romans 14:1-12
(I won't print it out here, but see also Colossians 2:16-21.)
So what is my obligation toward you, my brothers and sisters , when I am convicted to live my life differently than you do?
Hands off? Turn a blind eye? Close my yapper?
Aren't we supposed to sharpen one another? Yes!
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17
"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses". Proverbs 27:6
"let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds,25not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near." Hebrews 10:24-25
Can you picture how sweet it would be if, instead of bashing one another with our own personal prescriptions for piety, we would offer our observations with charity and open hands and let the Spirit take it from there?
No pursed lips! No condemnation when we look out and see our brothers "dancing in the minefields" farther and free-er than we can! Should we not rejoice instead at the strength of their faith and the One who keeps them safe in their freedom?
On the other hand, when a brother shares how he has found safety or purity or godliness in limiting himself or withdrawing from something, should we not honor the risk he has taken in sharing it with us? Perhaps we can learn from his experience by prayerfully considering his perspective. Might we possibly have something left to learn in life? Might our brother be our teacher?
Singing, "I'm right and you're weak!" to each other through the chinks of a barricade of pride has never been very winsome to a watching world.
Nor is yelling, "I'm extra godly and you're super worldly!" or, "I'm mature in Christ and you're a prisoner of your own legalism, you mewling infant!" By standing in constant judgement of one another, we take our eyes off Christ, stop listening to the refining whisper of the Spirit, and risk perverting the purity of the gospel message with our own Pharisaical precepts.
Finally, when a brother stumbles, and "I told you so" starts running through my mind, or I am tempted to puff my feathers up and cluck over my better ways, I should repent in humility and turn to prayer instead. I get no points for avoiding a pitfall that was nowhere near me. There is no gloating when a beloved child falls, only a rush to offer a hand up and a kind word and the reassurance of love.
I must admit, I like being right. I like convincing others that I am right. But I am going to try to listen better to the Holy Spirit in my life and stop impersonating Him in yours.
No one was fooled by my efforts anyway, and frankly, it is exhausting to try to clean up anyone's life but my own;)
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2 comments:
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