I got a link to an interesting article the other day from a friend who likes to make me think. (Thank you, Danielle:)
It was written by a professor at Baylor, and dealt with the topic of the pull between the workplace and the home on the hearts of women. ( No Happy Harmony )
It's the argument that never dies between females.
The woman who chooses the workplace often feels like she is doing a halfway job on the home front, and that the sacrifices she has to make to climb the corporate ladder are too steep to pay.
Is it right to miss so many milestones, to turn over the privilege of molding a life to a paid stranger, just to gain a paycheck and a sense of personal satisfaction?
On the other hand, the woman who chooses the home sometimes feels that her unique set of skills and abilities is being subsumed by the demands of her home and family.
Is it right for the world to be robbed of the talents of a brilliant artist or physicist or musician (or advertising executive) just so she can stay home and change her own child's diapers?
Should her interests and intellect be buried within the four walls of her house for the most productive quarter of her life?
What is a woman to do?
I know the path I have taken and I can explain the reasons behind it to anyone who would like to hear them, but I want to take this post in a slightly different direction.
As I read this professor's article I was struck with the level of anxiety that many women (probably this applies to men as well) live with on a daily basis as they attempt to set themselves on the trajectory to "maximum success" in their lives.
And I know for a fact that this even applies to stay at home moms, because I passionately desire to be outstanding at my job--sometimes to the point of forgetting why (and for whom) I am working so hard.
Now there is nothing wrong with striving for excellence, but I think that we need to remember a few things.
We are not gods.
No matter how perfectly we arrange our lives and schedules, we will never "be all we can be."
At some point, we will be struck with bad luck, or sickness, or a devastating loss, or injury, or death.
Every one of us will come to the end of our lives with things left undone--big things that leave us with the intense longing which can only be felt by creatures who were designed to be immortal, but instead find themselves bound by the shackles of finitude.
Most of us will exit the planet with personal failures, disappointments, and remembrances of people we have hurt or opportunities we have missed.
Unmarred immortality was set up for us in Eden and we blew it. Ever since then, we human beings have lived out our short years here in mad race against the clock, encumbered by the limitations of our sin nature and our death-infested bodies.
We spend a few years in childhood discovering our aptitudes. Then we start on the learning curve to master our skills and tame our talents. Finally, right after we hit our stride...
...we begin the long (or short) slide into weakness and frailty.
At last the grave swallows us and time obliterates all evidence of our existence here.
This is the fate of all men.
God has "set eternity in the hearts of men," but we are hamstrung by mortality. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
Solomon saw it.
Ecclesiastes 1:13-15 "And I set my mind to seek and explore by wisdom concerning all that has been done under heaven. It is a grievous task which God has given to the sons of men to be afflicted with. I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind. What is crooked cannot be straightened and what is lacking cannot be counted.…"
Well, I have good news!
We do not have to squeeze 1,000,000 years of ambition into 80 years!
We have a Redeemer, who rescued us from the bondage of an existence twisted by sin and offers us new life in Him here, and eternal, uncorrupted life with Him in heaven. ( How Can I Be Saved?)
And really, that changes everything.
I wish I could tell all the freshmen coeds in Professors Corey's article to relax, because no matter what they sacrifice, and how much they plan, and how many hours they put in, how much sleep they lose, there is no perfect path to self-actualization here on earth.
They will always have skills left unused and potential left untapped.
It is just one of the many downsides of being mortal.
Our inability to become "super" in the sense of "super-hero" is one of the painful realities that God uses to pull our gaze off of ourselves and our achievements, and onto Him.
The fact that He has limited our lifespans is actually a supreme, redemptive gift. It means that the relentless tug of war between pride and frustration in each of us won't last forever.
Our sin brought us death--painful, frightening, and always too soon for our liking. But it cuts short the illusion that this temporary, imperfect place is where our ultimate satisfaction exists.
And that knowledge is freeing!
Acknowledgment of our transience and acceptance of God's purposes for human finitude should cause a Christian to ask different questions than the world is asking.
Our focus should not primarily be on how we can live our "best life now", or on how we can achieve complete self-actualization, or on how we can squeeze greatest degree of personal and professional satisfaction from our lives and work.
Rather, we will find our greatest good by looking less at ourselves, and instead striving to use every good gift we have in the service of others and for the glory of God.
We are to work with skill, determination, perseverance, etc., but not primarily as a means to our own personal happiness.
We WERE created for excellence. We SHOULD strive to use our talents, but we should hold every achievement, position, and honor loosely, remembering that it only has meaning in the context of the blessing it brings to others and the glory it brings to God.
Eric Lidell, the Olympian runner, was given incredible athletic prowess. He even said that when he ran "he felt God's pleasure" over the fact that his skill was being exercised, but he ended his life--not as an athlete, or even as a "former athlete" on the lecture circuit, but in a prison camp in China, having given up all but his passion for sharing Christ.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer gave up friends, status, safety, security, and ultimately, his life in his passion for truth and righteousness.
William Wilberforce, sacrificed a life of ease and admiration, instead using his wit and his skills as an orator on behalf of the oppressed slave.
Instead of relaxing into a life of sensual pleasure, he endured 20 years of ridicule and opposition from peers and friends for his faith.
And let's consider the ultimate example of what it looks like to "not live up to your potential" from a worldly point of view.
Let's say you're God. And you can do everything, and all things exist by you and through you and for you. And little, selfish humans have made a mess of your lovely creation and rejected your perfect design.
What would your first impulse be?
Would you empty yourself of all your glory, power, and honor, make yourself a slave to the ones you had created (who had declared themselves to be your enemies), place yourself at the mercy of their hatred, and endure death at their hands in order to pay the penalty for their guilty acts?
No? Not your idea of "Your Best Life Now"?
Would you, with all your knowledge and perfection, come down and live with them and love them in their ignorance and sin?
Would your patience and kindness and love be big enough to overcome their stubbornness, faithlessness, and selfish pride?
Hmmm. Not really tempting. Wouldn't look good on a resume...
But Jesus did all that.
And in so doing, provided not just redemption, but also a perfect example of how the ultimate human existence can be achieved.
It all starts with knowing who(se) you are. If you see that "His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence," then you need not fear failure because, as long as you are aligned with His will and His ways, there is no such thing as failure for you. (2 Peter 1:3)
If you believe that "by these [His divine power and knowledge] He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them we may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world," well then! There is nothing more to prove!
Those of us who have identified with Christ and become his children could live every moment with divine beneficence, good humor, and peace.
We could choose to see beyond earthly impediments and rejoice in the kingdom that cannot be shaken.
We could handle our little victories and defeats with the easy confidence that comes from being known by, loved, and cared for by God Almighty, maker of heaven and earth.
We could.
Or we could wrap ourselves up in fears, insecurities, and regrets.
We could pull ourselves across the bodies of our fellow man to get recognition at any cost.
We could compare ourselves to anyone and everyone to see how we measure up.
We could major in self-promotion, self-service, self-worship, and self-aggrandizement.
We could second guess, and agonize, and backtrack, and over-analyze, and mourn our limitations and rage against the dying of the light .
And in the end, no matter how brilliant our flame, if we have lived for ourselves, it will all come to nothing anyway.
I want something different than the rat race and the gilded cage.
I want to be like Christ, who rested in the fact that He had "come from God and was returning to God" and thus was content to kneel on the floor and wash the dirt off his disciples feet. (1 John 13)
I want to run hard--but in the peace of Christ and in His strength, not in a panic to make a name for myself.
Ultimately, I want to skid across the finish line with nothing left but a big smile and open arms for the Father who showed me that "to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)
He offers the same opportunity to each of us.
"Come and love! Pour yourself out! Forget yourself, your rights, your reputation, and follow Me."
It will cost you everything.
And you will be blessed.
**********************
Philippians 2:3-8
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature
God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature
of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!"
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